Wk4 Response 3: Anne Alsup’s Anecdotes

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I too felt indignation at the thought of blaming myself for what was done to me, but Zanders is right, the blame game doesn’t make the world a better place.

Indignation.  Righteous anger—yep, that’s what it is. 

I’ve had to deal with several things the past few years that haven’t just seemed to me monstrously unjust but been documented by “Impartial Observers” to actually BE monstrously unjust.  (Ask me about the Batmobile some time.)  And this stupid book has me asking—not for the first time, but maybe with a touch more courage to hear the answer—what the heck I’m doing to precipitate this.  I still don’t know.  It doesn’t make sense to me.

But that’s where my calculating self has taken over; see, if I could get it to make sense, the unfairness would surely have to give way to sense, wouldn’t it?

Talk about stupid—how do we manage to cling to nonsensical ideas like that????

I’m not editing that out because I am making a—not a commitment, but an effort—toward transparency.  And that’s what I said to myself.

What is, is.  I cannot control the forces that create injustice and unfairness in the world.  What I can control is my commitment to Rule #6.  What I can control is my thoughts:  “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” has been the “watchman to my heart” this last 6 weeks, and I am beginning to see fruit.  (I heard a nurse explain once that emotions are chemical responses to our thoughts—and that we absolutely could not control the chemicals, but we COULD control the thoughts that produce them… with some practice!) 

I’m a little irritated at myself this afternoon that my “responses” to other people have been—just say it like it is, Deb—all about me.  But then I heard another thought:  that when something I say sparks learning & insight in someone else, I feel satisfied; I feel I’ve succeeded at my job.  I hope you feel that way now.  I’m having a hard time today, and you just made it easier.  Thanks.